i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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