Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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