Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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