I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
There are leaves in my underwear?
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