So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
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