haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Randomize
