He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
