Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
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