i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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