My room smells like vodka and shame
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Randomize
