S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Randomize
