I puked a lego.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I have surprise drugs for everyone
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
