I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
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