Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize