did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
