Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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