come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Randomize
