you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
