he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
