a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
