If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
