so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
