It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
