Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Just cropdusted the office
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Randomize
