Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
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