I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
