Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Soap is not a condiment
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
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