finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
