areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
