What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
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