Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Randomize
