you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
