I want to have your abortion
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
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