The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
