If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
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