How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
