i just google imaged poop.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
