I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
