I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Randomize
