So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Randomize
