Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Randomize
