How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
