you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
