You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Randomize
