There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
