Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
