mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Randomize
