i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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