STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
