new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
