So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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